You’ve probably heard all those people saying about the ways in which fear can hold you back. Not just fear of failing, but even fear of success can prevent you getting where you want to be.
We all fear to varying degrees. As far as I can tell, there are people who blaze through life trying new things and taking everything on the chin. Unfortunately for me, I’m not one of those people, and thinking of the possible negative consequences has a tendency to put me off things. I’m afraid of a lot of things:
- My internet business failing and having no money,
- People in real life seeing me as lazy for not making it work,
- My online colleagues seeing me making mistakes,
- People thinking my writing’s no good.
These are just a few of the bigger things I’m scared of. Within that list are a million other tasks, and you can bet if I’ve never done it before, I’m going to be scared of it!
Turning Fear Into Something More Positive
Nothing has tested me more than becoming self employed and having to do everything for myself. As a result, nothing has made me more proud. And I’ve come to realise that the only way to stop fear holding you back is to face your fear and just get on with it. The things I’ve been most afraid of, for example giving away my own products here (fear of judgement) or flipping websites (fear of complete failure), are those that have made me the proudest.
So What?!
The thing about fear is that it can hold you back if you let it. As a blogger, you might be afraid that nobody’s reading what you have to say, that nobody likes what you have to say – or as your own boss you worry that you’re not progressing quickly enough. So what?!
Though I’m afraid of not having any money, for example, what would it take for that to really happen? The internet provides a world of opportunity. If passive income isn’t working out, you can hire out your services as a writer, designer, link builder – there’s always demand.
Take a minute to look back at where you were when you got started. You knew nothing. Yet, somehow, you managed to learn enough to get that first site going, to get those first posts written, to get those first pennies in earnings. With each milestone, the fear just disappears – a new fear replaces it and the desire to challenge yourself again is what keeps pushing your forward. And so what if you do mess up? The great thing about working online is that it’s unlikely to ever completely ruin your business. Even better is that each mistake means a new lesson learned.
~ Web Career Girl
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Forest (4)
Loren Jaslyn (4)
Des @ Affiliate P... (3)
Eric (3)
John (3)
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January 25th, 2010 at 3:25 pm
There’s so much for me in this post Ruth! I think it is fear of financial failure that holds me back the most. I really should just trust myself to make it work eventually. And as you point out, I can always investigate some non-passive work if I need to.
I suppose that some time I will have to overcome that fear and cut loose from the day job. Hopefully this is the year!
Des´s last blog ..Overcoming Those Lazy Moments
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Des – Honestly, you *will* be able to make money online even in the hard times. Of course, I definitely think its right to do it the way you are and to wait to build things up and give yourself a bit of a backup money-wise. But when the time comes, I’m sure you will grab that opportunity despite the fear.
January 25th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
I have experimented just the same fears as you have. But my biggest fear is not to achieve my goals or the things I want in life. And that fear of having nothing is what also pushes me to take action. In this case, my biggest fear helps me to face the others.
Isaac – Life is simpler´s last blog ..How to pay off your debts
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Isaac – That is probably my biggest fear too, thanks for sharing – that’s something that I forgot to mention in the post.
Twitter: goldenkoi
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January 25th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
I wonder – is there such a thing as a truely fearless person? Probably not. I share the fears you listed and then some. I try to squash them and pay little attention to them, but it would probably better to acknowledge and then deal with them — chop them down, one by one.
I don’t think you need to worry about your writing not being good though
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best……….valentina
Valentina´s last blog ..Sunday Morn Musings – On Books and Bookshelves & More Reading Stuff
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Valentina – You are very right
Honestly I like to imagine that some people just aren’t scared of anything, but if that’s true they’ve probably got other issues! And thanks for the comment about the writing too!
January 25th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
I don’t think you ever lose it, and suspect if you did lose the fear, your entrepreneurial edge would disappear with it.
When I first started blogging full time, my fear was about putting food on the table. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about that any more, but I’m still a mass of anxiety. Will the traffic stop? Will people stop buying the book? Will I beat the deadline for the next one?
Mike CJ´s last blog ..Even after 14 years, I can’t read this without crying. Can you?
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Mike – Yes I can definitely understand that. Sometimes it’s hard to understand just how important fear is when you’re right in the midst of it, but it’s true that it really keeps us going. Also you brought up another important point – just how unpredictable a career online can be! But I guess it’s all part of what draws us towards it, somehow.
Twitter: lorenjaslyn
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January 26th, 2010 at 2:07 am
I appreciate this post Ruth. I see myself in it as well. I am actually having somewhat of a conflict with family with this same subject; however, the conflict makes me that much stronger and that more of a hard worker. I guess it would be different if I hated what I was doing in regards to IM, but I love it.
Loren Jaslyn´s last blog ..Niche Blogging Success – 8 Simple tips
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Loren – I’m sorry to hear about your conflict but I am glad to hear that it’s making you stronger.
Twitter: lbogaerts
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January 26th, 2010 at 6:15 pm
I think having fear when you start out with something, is one of the things that helps you succeed. Off course, you need to be a strong enough person to work through the fear, but once you do, there’s nothing that holds you back.
It takes a strong person to conquer their fears, but once you do, the sky is the limit
Leslie
Leslie´s last blog ..Moving Blog – After Selling Your Blog, It’s Time To Transfer It To The Buyer
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
Leslie – Very true Leslie, and thanks for reminding us how strong we are for doing things we’re scared of
That’s a really nice thought.
Twitter: lionslinger
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January 27th, 2010 at 12:26 am
Fear is our greatest obstacle in realizing our true potential. We all have the privilege to be the best, it is only a matter of choosing such choice. The truth about fear is that it’s just a habit of our mind. If we could manage to be immune to it, we can do great wonders or even move mountains.
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:12 pm
Walter – I always love your comments. Thanks for sharing and you are so right about it being our choice.
January 27th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
My only real fear is not producing and keeping a real steady (the keyword here) full time income in a reasonable time…there’s more too that, but it’s a bit personal and would most likely bum everyone out. lol
Dennis Edell´s last blog ..The Time Has Come. The Deal Is Done. It’s Time To Move!!
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Dennis – Oh I’m sorry to hear about whatever it is that’s made you feel like that, but I hope like others here it’s just making you work harder to make sure your goal is a reality. I am sure you are much stronger for it.
January 28th, 2010 at 12:26 am
For sure, and in multiple ways. I have still to post my “goals” post; a little different as it will be for 2010-11…should be fun.
Dennis Edell´s last blog ..The Time Has Come. The Deal Is Done. It’s Time To Move!!
Twitter: websiteweekend
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January 27th, 2010 at 8:30 pm
I’m with Mike above, fear is an incredibly useful emotion. It’s necessary.
People run in fear from pain much faster than they towards pleasure. Crazy but true.
Part of my strategy this year is throwing my back against the wall. Deliberately creating an environment for fear to flourish… and to motivate me.
Dave Doolin´s last blog ..MasterMind Power IV: Some MasterMind Examples
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
Dave – You know what, I am doing the same. I’ve taken risks this month in terms of earnings to give myself time I need to work on other projects – time will tell if it pays off but I do believe it’s a decision that had to be made! (because of what you said: “People run in fear from pain much faster than they towards pleasure.”)
January 27th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
I read a great phrase in FlyLady’s latest email: “Hit a lick at a snake”, meaning just do it. My fear has been horribly confining and “just do it” is so teeth gritting. But “hit a lick at a snake”? I can do that. It’s my new mantra.
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 27th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Shirls – Thanks for your comment, and I really love that saying! This is the kind of thing I honestly need to tell myself to get going. I also try to ask myself ‘what’s the worst that can happen?!’ and nine times out of ten it isn’t really as bad as I thought. Thanks again for the great saying!!
Twitter: segedoo
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January 27th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
Fear is just a belief in an imaginary unfortunate event. It is just a little emotion with a big shadow. I have noticed that my fears where just overhyped.
It’s amazing how so many of us let the fear of whatever hold us back.
The solution to being afraid is to take the leap of faith – A belief that what we wish for will come to us.
Great post.
Cheers,
Olusegun
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 28th, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Olusegun – Thanks for leaving your comment. “a little emotion with a big shadow” is a really good way of describing it – you’re so right about fears being overhyped. It’s definitely worth taking the leap of faith and realising things aren’t quite as scary as we thought!
Twitter: segedoo
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January 28th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
You are welcome
Olusegun´s last blog ..What Does Blogging Mean to You?
Twitter: pfincome
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January 28th, 2010 at 4:29 am
My biggest fear is not being able to support my family if I fail. I agree with your points about learning from making mistakes. In the end I believe I worry too much about stuff like that and just need to keep on moving along one step at a time!
John´s last blog ..What does eHow and the Recession Have in Common?
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 28th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
John – It’s important you have that fear, I think, because it’s so important you are able to support your family. As long as you do keep on moving one step at a time that fear can keep pushing your forward instead of back.
Twitter: pfincome
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January 29th, 2010 at 3:55 am
Ruth – Thanks, that helps to keep hearing that. One step at a time and eventually we will all get there!
John´s last blog ..What does eHow and the Recession Have in Common?
Twitter: bluepop13
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January 28th, 2010 at 9:11 am
Fear is definitely something that can be turned into something positive. Looking back at what you’ve done is a great way to see how far you can really go with anything you decide to do. And if you haven’t done anything yet, looking at the could help you decide to take action now and go for something, anything and make it work so you DO have something to look back on.
Great post.
Re-Tweeting now!
What do you think?
Eric´s last blog ..Lets Help Each Other
Twitter: webcareergirl
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January 28th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Eric – It’s great to look back and feel like you achieved something you’re scared of
Thank you so much for your support and continued comments and RTs!!
January 29th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Use the desire to be great to subside the fear of being mediocre. Add pleasure to the thought of success of goal achievement. It will cause you to feel happy ad enthusiastic every time you work towards your dream. Great post!
Twitter: webcareergirl
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February 1st, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Jonathan – Thanks for the really positive comment
Twitter: hellblog
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January 30th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Man, I have also experimented these fears.. too bad..
I want to become a problogger as well as an engineering student.. so I have lot of fear.. but only inside..
S.Pradeep Kumar´s last blog ..30+ Tips To Reduce Your Site’s Bounce Rate
Twitter: webcareergirl
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February 1st, 2010 at 2:30 pm
S.Pradeep – That is a big goal but if you can stop that fear from becoming too great I’m sure it will help push you on your way to meeting it